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Divorce, Family, and Relational Mediation

Regardless of the specific issues, I will ask you to state your positive goals for the process—  
• What are your positive goals—for yourself and for another?   
• What will be your measure of success?   
• What would you like to be able to say about how you handled things?   
• What do you want me to help you achieve?

MARRIAGE, SEPARATION, DIVORCE
If you are ending your marital relationship, you will find that mediation offers you a way to make mutual parenting and financial settlement decisions together; no stranger (i.e., a judicial officer) is going to tell you what to do. Mediation allows you to stay in control of the process and to work cooperatively toward mutually satisfactory conclusions, without staggering legal expense and in a reasonable amount of time. I invite you to see mediation as an investment in your future, in your self-respect and in moving ahead with your lives.

If you are committed to preserving your relationship but experiencing difficulty arising from poor communication regarding important issues, you will find that mediation can help you safely explore these issues and negotiate new agreements to stay together.     

If you are questioning whether to remain together—and under what circumstances—you will find it helpful to be a private arena in which to discuss and negotiate behaviors and examine appropriate decision-making pathways for the future.     

Parents will find this especially helpful in preserving positive co-parenting relationships that will endure throughout your lives. For parents, divorce represents a change, not a complete termination, of the relationship—a transition to a new system for co-parenting together.    

Same-sex couples divorcing face much the same issues as hetero couples--property division, spousal support, and time-shairing schedules for minor children. In the last case, though, there may be special difficulties for non-biological co-parents who have not adopted the chidlren. Mediation, with its focus on mutual undersanding and support, may provide a more conducive path for co-parenting that is beneficial for parents and chilren alike.   

Unmarried Partners who are ending their relationships also face difficulties that are not easily resolved through the courts.Property issues become civil cases, while children have a special place. Parentage provides for judicial affirmaiton of a father's bilogical parenthood and roles. By utilizing the confidential and informal process of mediatoon, unmarried partners can more easily explore options that will be suitable and durable.

"Philip,I honor you as the Peace-maker you are, and I thank you for the help and guidance you have provided me to keep to the Way of Peace."    --Client

* What about preparing and filing formal court documents?
In New Mexico, it is possible for couples to obtain what is called Pro Se divorce; that is, doing the paperwork themselves, with forms available from the domestic relations court clerk at the District Court. I can help such couples with the decision parts—the Parenting Plan and the Settlement Agreement.

Having previously worked as a fulltime Family Court mediator in District Courts--not to mention 29 years of practice--I can assist you in finding, completing, and filing the appropriate documents that will memorialize your decisions. I cannot tell you what to put in the documents; my role is to help you reach mutual decisions together and then complete the forms.

FAMILIES sometimes experience painful conflicts, such as--   
    among adult children seeking the best living situations for their ageing parents,  
    over guardianship and conservatorship roles for designees  
    in trying to settle inheritances, especially when there is no detailed will

The confidentiality of mediation provides some greater comfort for family members to come together with the aid of a neitrual third party, to be able to voice perspectives safely, to hash out issues, and to come up with viable and acceptable options to resolve matters.

Let's talk--I have had experience with all these issues--and more. A free introduction/consultation will help you decide how to proceed.  

If you are seeking a resolution that embodies mutual respect along with a reasonable substantive resolution of the issues that you are facing, then mediation may well be your best course.